Friday, August 27, 2010

Fiance Friday - Open Letter to Martha Stewart

Hello Blog-o-sphere!

Well, I knowthat everyone has been sitting at the edge of their seats ALL DAY, knowing that it is time for another epic Fiance Friday post! Well, your wait is over. As promised, I have another open letter to Martha Stewart! In case you missed my first letter, you can find it here. Also, a special Fiance Friday shout-out to Josh and Ashley who are getting married this weekend in Fairbury, NE! I wish I could be there!

And now, on to the letter...

My Dearest Martha,

I hope you are doing well. Every day I walk to my mailbox and hope that you have responded to my first letter. After a long, hot, summer, I have come to the conclusion that you must not have received it. It's really the only plausible explanation. I'll be sure to re-send it to you with some extra postage, as well as delivery confirmation. The other explanation of why I haven't gotten your response is because my home address changed. I realize that sometimes things get lost while being re-routed. My cell phone, however, has not. I've always got time for your call.

Well, Martha, you may be wondering why I am writing for a second time. You see, I am a subscriber to XM Radio. One day, I was driving in my car, listening to my favorite station, and I heard a commercial that caught my attention. It seems, Martha, that not even radio listeners are safe from you now! You now have your OWN XM Radio station! I would link to it, but then that would just give you more publicity that you don't need.

You may be wondering, Martha, what my problem is with your radio station. To be completely honest, in the spirit of full disclosure, I've never been subjected to listening to your station. However, as you know by now, I am here as one of the very few voices on the Internet for past present, and future grooms! I can only imagine the number of grooms who now have to listen to your radio station discussing design and wedding decorations. Why must you torture us, Martha?? Are your TV station and magazines not enough for you?

Well, Martha, I didn't think it would come to this, but I feel I must present one last argument to you. Listen to me, Martha. I'm going to come at you from a practical point of view. Let me get this straight. You are talking about design on the RADIO???? How can I possibly know what colors you are talking about without seeing them? When you say "blue," do you mean midnight blue, or perriwinkle? How will your listeners ever know?!?!? I mean, Martha, you don't want to walk in to someone's home who has taken your advice from the radio, only to find midnight blue drapes paired with perriwinkle carpeting! You can save America from a fashion crisis, Martha! I plead and beg you! Shut down your radio station!

If you would like to chat about this more, you know how to find me. I'll be awaiting your reply.

Hugs, High-5's, and Color Swatches,


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